Is it possible to cultivate sustained erotic desire in long term sexual relationships?
The short answer is YES from Esther Perel, New York based sex therapist and author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.
Perel studies the mysteries of erotic desire and shares what women want, “I want my partner to be my best friend, trusted confidant and passionate lover all in one AND for 50 years. I need security but I want adventure, novelty, risk and surprise.”
I sense it’s not just my head bobbing up and down but a universal nod spanning cultures and continents.
“Sexuality is transformed by human imagination. Sex isn’t what you do it’s where you go. In long term relationships a crisis of desire is really a crisis of imagination,” explains Perel. “Novelty, playfulness, seduction, titillation and anticipation are elements of sexuality and have everything to do with the erotic mind. The central agent of the erotic experience is our capacity to imagine. Create conditions that allow anticipation to build. Think of foreplay for instance as something that begins as soon a lovemaking session ends.”
In a compelling, poignant and highly engaging TED TALK, Perel provides understanding, insight and practical concepts for fueling the flame of erotic desire. A must watch for every *YUMMY AGER.
*YUMMY AGER – [noun] – woman 50+ vibrant, beautiful and sensuous who wants to live inspired passionate life.