How old are the scripts that drive our lives?
I’ve been wondering about this as I prepare to plow through mine. It’s a review project triggered by the red shoes. I want to ensure all scripts are serving me in the best possible way and if there are any old, out- of-date ones I want to dispose of them……immediately.
Last week a friend was over for tea. We talked about how far back some of these scripts go and how ‘in charge’ they continue to be by driving our lives…today. I mentioned a woman I knew who had a less than stellar grade 3 teacher who managed to imprint the message she was stupid. Thankfully after 41 years she was finally able to let it go and become the person she was destined to be.
“I understand…..I carried a debilitating script for 42 years,” said my friend. This is her story.
“I was 11 years old, in grade 6 and at a new school. All I wanted was to make friends and fit in. On this particular day I was sitting at my desk, excited and waiting for lunch. Today was big, it was the girl’s basketball team tryouts! Finally the lunch bell rang. I gobbled down my lunch, and flew to the gym. I can remember being so happy, skipping down the hall excited for the tryouts. Well my excitement was stomped on very quickly. I got to the gym, only to find a few of my boy classmates already there watching. When they saw me, dressed for tryouts, they began to roar with laughter. I can remember thinking…what are they laughing at? I quickly checked myself over, making sure when I changed into my gym strip, I hadn’t forgotten something. Then it hit me, they weren’t laughing at how I looked, they were laughing at me for wanting to try out for basketball. I felt completely humiliated, I wanted to run and hide.
From that day forward, I never again tried out for any type of sports team, and I was the one who was always picked last for teams in gym class.
It wasn’t until many years later (42 to be exact) that I realized just what had happened that afternoon in the gym. I had given myself the script that said, “I’m not good enough, and I can never have or do anything I want or need”. Up until the age of 53, this script has pretty much ruled my life. It wasn’t until I decided to really look and ask myself, is this true? Am I really not good enough, and can I never have or do anything I want or need? Realizing that the script I gave to myself at age 11 can be turned around to be one of empowerment, has been nothing short of life changing.
Events that happen in our childhood can have a profound effect on us all through our lives. Words not only sting, but have the power to change our lives.”
Quite the story isn’t it. I asked if she would write it out and let me share it. She agreed.
Let me tell you about my friend. She has been on her own path of fearless (re)discovery of herself for a couple of years. The shift and the realization she recounted above happened 6 months ago. That’s when she changed her script. From then to now she has transformed. She’s standing taller. She’s been challenged to speak her truth and she’s done it with ease, commitment and grace. Physically her voice is coming from a different place inside her…its deeper and it has more body, it used to be higher and smaller. She’s taking risks to put herself out there. She knows exactly where she wants to go and what she wants to do.
There’s no doubt she’ll get there… she’s so close now she can touch it.
Watching her seize the opportunity to become all she is meant to be is exciting, encouraging and SO INSPIRING!
It’s available to us all.
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