Style Influencer Micolle Canido busts common Fashion Myths in today’s post.
MICOLLE: Myths We Tell Ourselves…this colour washes me out….I’ll buy this and never wear it again…I don’t wear lipstick…I’m too short…I have a tummy…I’m not 20 anymore…sound familiar?
These are some of the myths I hear on a daily basis. The cycle of negativity society has dumped on us is draining. As a result women of all ages often have distorted perceptions as to how one should look and dress. While were all entitled to the occasional bitch session, I applaud the women who take the baby steps to erase these stigmas.
Nelson Mandela once said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” Working as a style influencer, I embrace clients who are up for a personal challenge. At times, client hand-holding (particularly out of a change room) is a must, but miracles do happen. In my own personal growth, I’ve learned true change comes from within…it’s often slow, and at times painful, but there if you want to commit.
In this line of work, I often deal with women set in their ways, many of whom are down-right stubborn and stigma enablers (without knowing). I also work with women baring mastectomy scars; women battling bitter divorces; and most commonly women with deeply rooted body issues amongst those who complain about being too fat in a size 25 jean (kidding but not really). These are the women that challenge me the most, but these are also the women I have incredible connections with, and who in the end give me a sense of great accomplishment when all is said and done.
Getting to these breakthrough moments takes time, there are tears and some tantrums…but the reward of watching “her” emerge with a new healthy attitude full of smiles, confidence and eventually a “be fearless” attitude is, in itself, golden.
Listening to clients needs is 90% of my job…the other 10% is fashion. Recently, I was working with a client whom we shall call “Amy” (to protect her privacy). Amy is in her late 40’s, works in an office environment and doesn’t get into town to shop as much as she likes.
At first glance, one would easily describe Amy’s style as safe and conservative. I approached Amy with the usual questions I ask clients to get a feel for who they are, what their needs are, and to see her approach/style philosophy.
After having Amy scope the racks and pick out the clothing she was drawn to, I pulled a few more items that she liked but was not quite sure of how to wear. I could see she was starting to get a little uncomfortable questioning some of my choices…you could literally see the panic in her eyes grow as she shied away into the fitting room. Eventually she shared her body image issues. After listening, I showed Amy a few ways she could wear the items she liked (yet feared) in a way that would make her feel at ease, stylish and above all confident. None of this, I might add, would have been possible if Amy was not completely honest with me about her insecurities. Building a foundation of trust was key to pulling off the overall looks. 90% of working with Amy was coaxing out the “gawd I wish I could wear that” girl hidden deep inside, after which the remaining 10% was a cakewalk. Three outfits later, watching her come out of her shell, embracing both her new-found wardrobe and new-found self, Amy had me running for accessories to finish off each look.
I don’t have a degree in psychology nor am I editor-in-chief at Vogue but ladies let’s keep things simple. These myths we tell ourselves are just that “myths”. It’s up to you not to give these “myths” a life of their own. Here are a few suggestions to seeing things in a different light:
- Break the mold. Shake things up a bit and bring a friend that is not afraid to tell you the truth. Her honesty will be a gift in the fitting room. BUT make sure she is body-positive.
- Styles evolve and so can you. Take on a new trend. One as simple as an accessory. Find what makes you feel great. It could be anything from a piece of jewelry your grandmother wore to a shade of lipstick that makes you feel powerful.
- Hold the excuses and face your fears. There is a bold little person in all of us…coax her out. And remember, that other person in your head perpetuating those myths…she’s just a nuisance!
Cheryl: Micolle as usual you shake things up and provoke thought.Thanks for busting those nasty myths and in so doing help us become freeeeee!