Yesterday I was talking to a woman who had just returned from a spring break trip to Maui with her family. Well…. it wasn’t her whole family, they were minus one as her eldest son was in university and unable to make the trip. Her face told the story, “It was hard,” she said, “it was the first time we weren’t all together.”
I understood. Firsts are big for moms.
In the beginning they’re exciting…first steps… first words…first wobbly toddles… first birthday….every day a new one. As time goes on the firsts continue, and while still exciting, they soon contain an element of anxiety …first day of school…first sleepover…first dance…. first boyfriend/girlfriend… first driving lesson…first job (it happens fast) and the years fly by. The firsts are ongoing and while the excitement remains, anxiety can take over top spot….first time home alone…. first year away at university…… first trip to Europe on own….first job after graduation. Yep. It’s hard all right.
Years ago, I remember hearing the bond of a mother and her child described as a series of hooks and strings that connect both. Over time the child grows and the mother slowly releases the hooks one by one until the two are separate individuals. Some of the hooks release easily and others are stubborn and challenging.
We all get there. Time to fully unhook, send them off with love and watch them take flight as independent, capable people ready to take on life.
It’s bittersweet but empowering. We can now focus inward and rediscover ourselves. We’re free to create the next chapter that will allow us to further evolve as women, wives, partners, moms, sisters and friends. It’s a new kind of excitement and it’s bubbling……
As far as the last hook goes I kind of want to leave it in place. But I realize unhooking is vital it releases both of us to become all we are meant to be. Click……
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